Fifty Shades of Chicken: Hilarious Parody Cookbook Turns Roasts Into Food Porn

Fifty Shades of Grey had women trembling everywhere in the bedroom; now, its cookbook parody is set to have them trembling in the kitchen.

Fifty Shades of Chicken, inspired by EL James' erotic literary phenomenon, will be released anonymously by an established food industry professional on November 13, just in time for Thanksgiving.

The book follows the adventures of Miss Chicken - 'a young free-range, from raw innocence to golden brown ecstasy,' with 50 recipes like Mustard Spanked Chicken and Dripping Thighs, some serious food porn follows.

The writer, going under the pen name FL Fowler, told People magazine: 'One day as I was tying up the ankles of a chicken for roasting, I realized why some of the scenes in the book were so strikingly familiar. It turns out I've been practicing BDSM for years – but with poultry.'

An excerpt from the opening of the books reads: '"I want you to see this. Then you’ll know everything. It’s a cookbook,” he says and opens to some recipes, with color photos. “I want to prepare you, very much.”

'This isn’t just about getting me hot till my juices run clear, and then a little rest. There’s pulling, jerking, stuffing, trussing. Fifty preparations. He promises we’ll start out slow, with wine and a good oiling... "Holy crap"'.'

The author, who plans to remain anonymous, added: 'You start with an overbearing cook and a pigheaded chicken but by the end they're spanking and tying each other up like soul mates.

'There's a bit of Christian and Anastasia Steele in every dish.'
The author has apparently 'been developing recipes for years,' explaining that the pen name will protect their privacy 'from this dark, forbidden side of poultry preparation.
'And when it comes to sexing up a family dinner, a little privacy can be a good thing.'

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Fifty Shades of Grey: The Erotic Novel is Replacing Bible in Hotel Rooms

Encouraged by the growing demand of ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ an enterprising hotel manager has decided to replace the Gideon Bible with copies of the racy best-seller.

Wayne Bartholomew, Damson Dene hotel manager and star of Channel 4’s first ‘The Hotel’, is making the exchange for the benefit of guests and in response to the online chatter from his 3,210 Facebook Fans.

“Fifty Shades of Grey is all that people are talking about at the moment, but I know that some are too shy to buy it for themselves,” the Daily Mail quoted him as saying.

“I thought it would be a special treat for our guests to find it in their bedside cabinet and that includes the men too. They are as desperate to get their hands on a copy as the women,” he said.

The manager said that they were swapping one best seller for another and insisted that the similarities don’t end there.

The Gideon bible is full of references to sex and violence, although it’s written using more formal language, so James’ book is easier to read.

“We’ve decided to designate one of rooms in the hotel into the “Red Room”. Guests will have fun finding out what delights await them there” Bartholomew said.

However, the bible will still be available at the reception desk for any guests who request it.

Wayne’s bedside book substitution has been approved of his boss, hotelier Jonathan Denby.

Meanwhile, while commenting on the hotel’s decision to substitute the sacred book with the erotic novel, the Bible Society remained adamant that the Holy book would stand the test of time.

“Whilst 50 Shades of Grey is in vogue this summer, we doubt that in 2000 years’ time people will still be talking about as they do about the Bible - an enduring book which has stood the test of time and is still the world’s best seller,” Rachel Rounds said.

“The Bible is a great read. It contains stories which feature sex and violence, as well as comedy, tragedy, poetry, and prose. Its themes are eternal; they still speak directly into people’s lives centuries after it was written.

There really is no comparison between it and this novel,” she added.

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